“Is Bach affecting your sex life?”
Well, what a question to ask.
It was this inquiry that I encountered while perusing the Omaha World-Herald‘s site this week. Intrigued, I had to read more.
It turned out that it was a column about sex and music written by Brier Jirka, a sex therapist with the Methodist Physicians Clinic Women’s Center.
You know it as soon as you hear it.
THE song that brings back memories of a special moment between you and your partner. That moment when fireworks exploded and you knew love was in the air.
The fact that music has such a prominent place in our relationships should not be surprising. We all listen to music on a daily basis, and a person’s taste can vary from classical or rock to country, pop or R&B.
For some, that special song is anything by the band Boston or ever popular REO Speedwagon. For others it could be by Marvin Gaye or one of today’s superstars – Usher, Carrie Underwood, or dare I say Justin Bieber!
But have you ever thought about how much music actually influences your sexual behavior?
It’s a common question I hear in sex therapy: What music should I play to set the mood?
“Let’s Get It On” or “Sexual Healing” usually come to mind right away. However, an article on the subject published in Softpedia noted research which showed those that enjoy jazz music have 34 percent more sex than those who like pop music.
The least sexually active group – those who prefer classical, like Bach or Beethoven.
So what gives? Blame brain functions. The left hemisphere is linked to language and the right to our feelings. Music often triggers both at the same time, resulting in stronger outward behavior, AKA movement. Simply put, music encourages touching.
Both men and women rate tactile (touching) stimuli as most important in sexual arousal. However, when it comes to musical stimuli, men are often less responsive than women.
For men, the type of music doesn’t really matter. But for females, “her song” will likely result in positive thoughts and feelings.
Next time you want to set the mood for love, consider what your partner’s ears prefer.
And in case nothing comes to mind, here is a list of songs that may help set the mood, followed by those which will ruin your chances for intimacy.
This list was generated from a combination of online polls and my professional suggestions.
Top 5 Mood Setters
• I’ll Make Love to You (Boyz II Men)
• Come A Little Closer (Dierks Bentley)
• Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC)
• Too Afraid to Love You (The Black Keys)
• Feel Like Making Love (Bad Company)
• I’ve Got You Under My Skin (Frank Sinatra)
Top 5 Mood Spoilers
• How You Remind Me (Nickelback)
• Boyfriend (Justin Bieber)
• I Wanna Sex You Up (Color Me Badd)
• I’ll Do Anything for Love (Meatloaf)
• Anything Disney – seriously it’s wrong to mix sexual intimacy and Disney music
OK, I know Jirka says that men are less responsive than women to music, but I can say that if any lady out there tries to seduce me with the mood setters listed above (aside from The Black Keys) I’m likely to either burst out laughing or run away in horror. (“Feel Like Making Love” actually makes people want to make love? Are you kidding me???)
However, I’m glad to see people are turned off by Nickelback, Bieber and Meatloaf.
“I Wanna Sex You Up” though? I could handle that if we were in the right mood — as in, not a serious mood. It’s certainly better than AC/DC. Seriously.
Now, you know what comes next. This is where I have to list 10 songs that I think are great mood setters (because I will go 200 percent for those I love — and because I don’t have the discipline to pick only five). I’m not going to disappoint you.
Turn down the lights. Spread the rose petals. Don’t those candles smell great?
Let’s get started.
“This wine tastes great. Hey, are you familiar with this song that Robert Smith wrote for his fiance as a wedding present. Whenever I hear it, I can’t help but think of you.”
“Would you like to hear some poetry? ‘If you stay, I’ll chase the rain-blown fields away. We’ll shine like the morning and sin in the sun. Oh, if you stay, we’ll be the wild ones running with the dogs today.’”
“I really don’t have the words.”
“I’ve got a genius idea. Let’s have some fun. Natural fun. (Please don’t slap me.)”
I don’t gotta say a word …
“‘It may not be the right time. I might not be the right one. But there’s something about us I want to say.”
“I thought you’d want to hear about this really incredible book.”
“Girl, why mess with the rest when you got the best? I’m what you need.”
“Can we just cuddle already?”
So, uh, how was it? Was that Bach or Boys II Men?
(By the way, if you’re visiting this post via “Freshly Pressed,” WELCOME! Thanks for checking out “An Inland Voyage.” Please look around and share any thoughts. Find out more about me and “An Inland Voyage” here. — Nathan)