‘I Don’t Know If It’s A Hunting Dog, But It’s Definitely A Humping Dog’

This innocent-looking Golden Retriever is obviously not the one from the story told here. I just wanted to demonstrate that not all Golden Retrievers are after your leg.

It’s been a real crazy animal week around Yankton.

There is the black dog chasing people near Hillcrest Golf Course. There was the cat that reportedly “mauled” a man and scratched his eyelid.
But the police incident I’ve gotten the most questions about is the following, which was published in the Press & Dakotan Tuesday:

A report was received at 2:46 p.m. Friday that a Golden Retriever was attached to the leg of a pedestrian — although not in an aggressive manner. After several attempts to remove the dog from the pedestrian’s leg, its owner was finally able to gain control of his pet and take it home.

Unfortunately, all I knew was contained in those two sentences.

Well, today I had the opportunity to speak with an eyewitness to the incident. Let me share with you, dear readers, what I learned.

The pedestrian in question was an off-duty police officer (not my source, by the way) who was walking his poodle, “George Bush.” Yes, the poodle’s name is George Bush.

It was while walking the dog near the intersection of Eighth Street and Maple Street that the Golden Retriever made its move on the unsuspecting pedestrian.

The dog was big but managed the acrobatics of scrunching down enough to get its front paws wrapped around the man’s leg while proceeding with its amorous — and, from what I was told, vigorous — behavior.

During this time, the man had picked up little George Bush and was holding him away from the “action,” presumably to protect his innocence. My source tells me that the dog was so infatuated with the leg that George Bush could have probably run along home unmolested.

In fact, the Golden Retriever was so persistent and unrelenting that Yankton’s animal control officer was called to the scene to assist.

The officer succeeded in peeling the dog off of the pedestrian’s now wet leg and very nearly had it in a cage when the Golden Retriever evaded capture — only to return to the beloved leg!

I’ve no idea how long all of this took to transpire. Eventually, however, the owner of the “giggity giggity goo” Golden Retriever showed up on the scene, and the matter was resolved for good.

According to the owner, the Golden Retriever was purchased as a hunting dog.

My eyewitness responded: “I don’t know if it’s a hunting dog, but it’s definitely a humping dog.”

Needless to say, my source was still having trouble recounting the story days later because it was still so darn hilarious to recount.

It’s incidents like this for which Youtube was created. Unfortunately, no video of this lusty drama is known to exist.

On a serious note, my condolences go out to the pedestrian. It sounds like he had quite a traumatic experience.

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